The Student Publication of Denver East High School

Spotlight

Your 2016 Horoscope

Do you have a tapestry above your bed? Then this is defiantly the place for you...you free spirit zodiac lover!

Photo+courtesy+of+tattoos+time.com
Photo courtesy of tattoos time.com

Photo courtesy of tattoos time.com

Photo courtesy of tattoos time.com

Henry Micheals

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Horoscopes


Aries (March 21-April 19)

*see capricorn

 

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Thus far in life, you’ve successfully passed all your classes, purchased a parking spot, and made peace with someone in your family. Now, you’ve encountered a problem you can’t solve with your fists.

 

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Geminis are known for their curious nature. This is probably the reason as to why you find yourself feeling oddly intrigued by a short, balding, authoritative figure. Explore these curiosities.

 

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Seek a doctor immediately. Your condition might be life threatening.

 

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Your senior ID picture looks strangely normal. You can’t control the way it turns out, and East alumni will wonder why this senior class is so lame.

 

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Avoid sudden movements with your thumbs while on Instagram. It may cause a minor heart attack.

 

Libra (September 23-October 22)

You are a seeker of truth. Beware of liars and 911 conspiracy theories.

 

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Scorpios appreciate a fresh start and are often attracted to new things. You’re too old for those freshmen.

 

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

You’re looking in all the wrong places for advice. How would I know about the current circumstances of your life? I’m just some guy with a computer and too much time on his hands.

 

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

*see aries

 

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

Listen to tomorrow’s morning announcements. If you don’t, you’ll miss the only thing that is relevant to you for the entire year.

 

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Your sign is the fish. That’s great, but why don’t you come up for air every once in awhile. There’s a whole world up here!!!

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Your 2016 Horoscope